Davolee – Festival Bar Interpreted In English

“This is how it went (x2)
All my time in Festival Bar, this is how it passed
All of a sudden I got pissed at Festival bar,
I went to the bar-man and got pissed at him
What kind of insane work is this?
Give me a good job
My light is very bright
Give me a good bulb
Festival road in Ikotun
High Tension
When you arrive at Governor’s road
You’ll alight at the second junction
You’ll cross to the other side
You’ll see it by the left side
That’s where you’ll see one insane woman
With bad blood
A white person owns the place
But his wife is from Edo
If you get in an argument with anyone, she’ll make you stop
Then she slaps you, whether you’re at fault or not
As soon as she does this, she’ll tell you to go home
She wouldn’t let us pack up until it was 11pm
The walk to my house was as far as Lekki to Kuramo
Yeah, we know you don’t play with work
The only place of work you can’t get dismissed from is the one your father established.
Segun, please endure, why don’t you get there?
Why don’t you drink out of the alcohol with broken bottles in it?
Okay, the woman let everyone go, except Davolee
Her character changed suddenly, she started acting like a prophet
Doing things like morning devotions, and praying about the place
She put a signboard out, see she was looking for ‘Jackie’
She didn’t let me see any ladies, you know, it was only me
Then she employed a girl
This girl would sell things worth 5 naira for 50 naira
If you got 10 bags, she would say you got 15
So one day, I called the girl aside to let her know how things worked
“If that woman catches you, that’s the day you’ll leave this place”
Then she said, “ahn ahn don’t we expect her to eat?”
If the money’s not enough to plait her hair, don’t we expect her to cut it?”
She continued saying different forms of rubbish
I looked at her and shook my head, “ well, she’s a woman”
If she gets chased from here today, her men will fix things
If I get dismissed, I’ll beg to come back
To God be the Glory, she got in trouble
A customer came in and she over-reached
She overpriced the Don Simon this guy was trying to buy
I smartened up, and told her, this man is no stranger to us
She hissed, and asked what her business was
“What’s heaven’s business with what’s happening on earth?”
She asked if I wasn’t familiar with the saying, ‘ko kan aye’ (it’s nobody’s business)
I told her “this is just beer money, it can’t buy a house”
So the kid went wild and said she was going to buy a jeep
She was going to buy a G-wagon with Mama G’s money
The woman’s name is not mama G, don’t get it wrong
Because she’s very wild, I gave her the moniker myself
Let’s cut things short, so the guy came in
He asked “Who is this?”, I said it was Shalewa
He asked when she started to work there, I said it had been a while
He said she was about to get in trouble, she was reaching beyond her bounds
He said she sold him Don Simon for 1k
For a profit of 400 naira! She thinks she’s found a monkey
Monkey dey work, baboon dey chop
She thinks she’s found a stupid person
The guy said that we were thieves
He said he wouldn’t let go, unless he told Mama G
He asked why we trying to make merry with Mama G’s money
Asked us if he looked like a wealthy man, or an alhaji
Long story short, Mama G walked in the shop
“What’s going on here”
She was speaking english, she asked Shalewa
Shalewa got on her knees, said “mama please”
“No be my fault, na poverty do me like this”
Mama G hit her back, “wetin poverty do you?”
“You wan turn my bar to something else, bloody fool you”
“Na because you be lady, na hin make me trust you”
“But even Segun better you x 10, make I burst you”
She looked to the customer, and apologised
Then something dawned on her
She said “but come first, this girl just start work, how come this bad sense?”
“I know sey na Segun go fit teach her all this bad sense, hey, Segun, come here”
I went closer to her
She said “come here!” again
Is this woman not thinking about slapping me?
“Mama no go try am, ‘cos boys dey vex o”
What we have here is an examination, not a mere test
Come try me, if I won’t hit you hard
Long story short, that’s how they dismissed me from the place
But the story continues, remember to help me tell it.
Interpretted By DB Tifeh RicBain Al’waris

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